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#1
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Birthday perspective and random thoughts......
Hi there,
I have been popping in and out lately rarely posting but enjoying many of your posts, thanks for the smiles, tears, inspiration, tenderness and "butch up" advice...lol. I have some reflections on where I have come from and where I am going. Of course, the LC WOE is why I am here, and the desire to take better care of myself. I think my previous abuse of my body came from many places, but the one thing that I think is the most likely reason is to shield myself from the world and from my own personal best. I was always waiting for the right time to do something about my weight and lack of fitness. I don't know what happened many months ago, but I think it was the combination of the fear of becoming old before my time, the despair over what I had become and how my life was not what I would have wished, and how finally, although I always *knew* it was up to me, I was ready to take the old bull by the horns and by golly I was going to be the best me I could. Avoidence was not working (does it ever? lol) and acceptance of what I had become was a step I was not ready to take. I was simply not the me I was meant to be. And whose fault was that? MINE! So, Feb beginning 2003 I told my husband what I was going to do, and he was welcome to join me or not. (His weight issues are as bad as mine if not worse) He decided to join me. Several things came into play. My work has a wellness reimbursement program which I utilized to join a gym for the first time in eons. We had planned to take a trip to Mexico in October for our 3rd anniversary, and I didn't want to feel like an old fat ugly and shamed person. So these things were perhaps the catalyst to make me take that first step. Thanks to TinaKaye's website I found this newsgroup which has been the backbone of this WOE for me, giving ideas on so many food choices and diverse substitutes that LC has become second nature. At first we both lost quickly which is typical, and although he ate much more than I did my husband soon surpassed my loss (Oh bugger) but I am glad for him. He has lost nearly 60 lbs to date and I have lost 46 (not counting the couple gained in Mexico which is on its way gone)I have many pounds to go but I feel so much better about myself it is unbelievable. I feel younger, prettier, sexier, and in control. (Gee I can't imagine how I will feel when I get to my goal for next year!) Getting ready for the trip was fun and difficult. Most of my shorts no longer fitted as they were too baggy but I found some in the back of the closet that had been too tight previously. Unfortunately when I went shopping late this summer I was too late for good shorts! Mexico was a blast and I enjoyed it so much more than I would have 9 months ago. I gave myself permission to eat what I truly wanted, but found I substituted side salad for starchy side dishes as a preference. Probably my worst "sin" came from the beverages I drank, many margarita's tasted sweet to me in various places, and some did not. I probably drank most of my carbs that week! So, today I am 44 years old. Where am I? I am raising two teen girls (feel sorry for me, really!) and worry about them, but I think they will be ok (and hopefully I won't be insane). I like my job, I have an adoring husband, I enjoy my home and pets, and have many wonderful friends and family. I am really starting to like who I am, and nearly where I am. Yes, it is a journey, it is all about the journey, and life is too short to waste. I am not even going to waste a moment grieving over the time I have already wasted. Next year at age 45 I hope to be 50 lbs lighter, and I know I have much to learn and to adjust to get there. It will take dedication over the Maine winter to come out better than I entered.......hmm I think I have cross country skis in the shed. Anyhow, I am glad to be here, I am thankful for all of your help, and while the light snow swirls in the cold night air on my 44th anniversary of my birth, I look forward to the next year. And I think we should plan a Northeast get together someplace, in April perhaps, to rejoice in our comraderie and success, for I have no doubt. We have months to plan, let's chat about it. Thanks for listening. You folks mean much to me. Pam 295/249/199 Oct birthday goal 2004 |
#2
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Birthday perspective and random thoughts......
Happy Birthday, Pamsta!
-- Saffire 205/185/125 Atkins since 6/14/03 Progress photo: http://photos.yahoo.com/saffire333 |
#3
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Birthday perspective and random thoughts......
Happy Birthday! I'm so proud of you and your hubby, keep up the continued
success. 50 pounds in the next year should be a breeze with your attitude Congrats, ~*~Pie~*~ 254/197/150 "Pamsta" wrote in message om... Hi there, I have been popping in and out lately rarely posting but enjoying many of your posts, thanks for the smiles, tears, inspiration, tenderness and "butch up" advice...lol. I have some reflections on where I have come from and where I am going. Of course, the LC WOE is why I am here, and the desire to take better care of myself. I think my previous abuse of my body came from many places, but the one thing that I think is the most likely reason is to shield myself from the world and from my own personal best. I was always waiting for the right time to do something about my weight and lack of fitness. I don't know what happened many months ago, but I think it was the combination of the fear of becoming old before my time, the despair over what I had become and how my life was not what I would have wished, and how finally, although I always *knew* it was up to me, I was ready to take the old bull by the horns and by golly I was going to be the best me I could. Avoidence was not working (does it ever? lol) and acceptance of what I had become was a step I was not ready to take. I was simply not the me I was meant to be. And whose fault was that? MINE! So, Feb beginning 2003 I told my husband what I was going to do, and he was welcome to join me or not. (His weight issues are as bad as mine if not worse) He decided to join me. Several things came into play. My work has a wellness reimbursement program which I utilized to join a gym for the first time in eons. We had planned to take a trip to Mexico in October for our 3rd anniversary, and I didn't want to feel like an old fat ugly and shamed person. So these things were perhaps the catalyst to make me take that first step. Thanks to TinaKaye's website I found this newsgroup which has been the backbone of this WOE for me, giving ideas on so many food choices and diverse substitutes that LC has become second nature. At first we both lost quickly which is typical, and although he ate much more than I did my husband soon surpassed my loss (Oh bugger) but I am glad for him. He has lost nearly 60 lbs to date and I have lost 46 (not counting the couple gained in Mexico which is on its way gone)I have many pounds to go but I feel so much better about myself it is unbelievable. I feel younger, prettier, sexier, and in control. (Gee I can't imagine how I will feel when I get to my goal for next year!) Getting ready for the trip was fun and difficult. Most of my shorts no longer fitted as they were too baggy but I found some in the back of the closet that had been too tight previously. Unfortunately when I went shopping late this summer I was too late for good shorts! Mexico was a blast and I enjoyed it so much more than I would have 9 months ago. I gave myself permission to eat what I truly wanted, but found I substituted side salad for starchy side dishes as a preference. Probably my worst "sin" came from the beverages I drank, many margarita's tasted sweet to me in various places, and some did not. I probably drank most of my carbs that week! So, today I am 44 years old. Where am I? I am raising two teen girls (feel sorry for me, really!) and worry about them, but I think they will be ok (and hopefully I won't be insane). I like my job, I have an adoring husband, I enjoy my home and pets, and have many wonderful friends and family. I am really starting to like who I am, and nearly where I am. Yes, it is a journey, it is all about the journey, and life is too short to waste. I am not even going to waste a moment grieving over the time I have already wasted. Next year at age 45 I hope to be 50 lbs lighter, and I know I have much to learn and to adjust to get there. It will take dedication over the Maine winter to come out better than I entered.......hmm I think I have cross country skis in the shed. Anyhow, I am glad to be here, I am thankful for all of your help, and while the light snow swirls in the cold night air on my 44th anniversary of my birth, I look forward to the next year. And I think we should plan a Northeast get together someplace, in April perhaps, to rejoice in our comraderie and success, for I have no doubt. We have months to plan, let's chat about it. Thanks for listening. You folks mean much to me. Pam 295/249/199 Oct birthday goal 2004 |
#4
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Birthday perspective and random thoughts......
Pam, wonderful post and great insights. So glad you are at a "good place"
in your life. I hear you the teenagers! (I have a 17 yo boy and almost-13 yo girl.) A northeast get-together sounds cool. I am in Providence RI. - Anne |
#5
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Birthday perspective and random thoughts......
Happy Birthday! Yes, this can be tough, particularly during the long
winter, but you can do it... and so can we! Thank you for sharing! 347/266/??? Since 8/5/02 -- Nancy Howells (don't forget to switch it, and replace the to send mail). |
#6
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Birthday perspective and random thoughts......
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