There's a short in my switch

Miss Violette wrote:

although... the kind you were thinking can cause the kind referred to in
this post... that is... if done properly... Lee, trying to keep in mind this
is a family type group

There would be no families without it...
--
Kate XXXXXX
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.diceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

I can tell you this much, I would have better time committing to the form of
exercise you aren't referring to rather than biking or hiking, Lee
prairieroots wrote in message
lkaboutsupport.com...
We are still defining "intense exercise lasting more than two hours" as
being of the bicycling or hiking kind, right? G See, you've even gotten
me thinking thoughts I oughtn't be thinking while on the job.
--
Linda P

Don't be fooled by the persona I present here. I'm much funnier and 20
times smarter in real life.

I do not have my issues under control. My eating issues are under
house arrest, but security is often lax and there are too many escape
routes. My housekeeping issues... don't want to go there. I'm still
dealing with the money issues left over from my marriage. The good
news is that there's significant progress on all fronts.

I'm having a friend over for dinner tomorrow. One of the commitments I
made to myself was that after my kitchen and bathroom were safe for
humans to enter, I'd invite someone to my house for dinner at least
once a month. I thought I'd have the rest of the house done by now,
but alas, I ran out of money and then there were all the work- and
family-related responsibilities. I found myself relying on my old
excuses for staying a recluse. This week I decided So What if parts of
my house still resemble a construction zone? and invited a good friend
for dinner. I found a WW recipe I want to try, I'll make the pumpkin
angel food cake, we'll open a bottle of Merlot, and after an hour or
two, maybe it won't matter that there's a bag of plaster in the living
room. Tonight I'll clean the bathroom, wipe down the kitchen, and
vacuum around the edges.
--
Linda P

On Thu, 4 Nov 2004 11:28:48 -0800, "Miss Violette"
wrote:

I view it as the natural result because of the human need to share. Now
that you have done the work you needed to to get your issues under control
the desire to share those accomplishments with a permanent partner is just
logical to me. The reason I asked the question was very selfish. I find
very few people on line or in person that has a sense of humor and smarts
that I appreciate and you are one such person, I look forward to your posts
and would be really sad if you were not here. and *deep blush* Thank you
for being so kind in your remarks, Lee
Prairie Roots wrote in message
news
I don't know if what I'm doing is the "natural" result of all I've
done, unless it's an extension of coming out of hiding, which is one
way that I look at my weight loss. I also look at my weight loss as
the last bit of recovery from my marriage and divorce. So in that
sense, I guess I'm "ready," if I ever will be.

Yes, I'm nervous and anxious and yada-yada-yada about meeting someone.
But I think that would be true of just about anyone re-entering the
dating world. I also believe that the rest of the work that I need to
do can only be done once I'm in a relationship. For one thing, all
those boundary skills I've learned can only be practiced when there's
someone to keep out, or in, as the case may be.

I never thought of my inner voices as being jealous, but that's
actually a very helpful concept and fun, too.

Let me state again for the record, Lee, that you didn't offend me and
I can't imagine that you ever could. If I was offended by anything you
said, it would be because you hit a truth too close to home. But that
would be my problem because you always tell the truth in love.

I also appreciate the guts it took to post the question to find out
whether I was offended. You have no idea how much I admire you and
value your insights. And you can trust that I'm telling the truth,
being the forthright person that I am.
--
Linda P

On Wed, 3 Nov 2004 18:06:12 -0800, "Miss Violette"
wrote:

I purposely did not mention your on line dating service because that is
the
hugest step of all, and it is to me the natural result of all you have
done,
and you are right, I can't imagine trying to find a mate, but then I
can't
imagine most days that I got so very lucky with the one I have, and the
chorus is jealous that the thin cute you will be able to find the right
partner and then you will have someone else whispering in your ear and
they
won't be heard,I am glad you took my post the way I meant it, after I
sent
it I freaked myself out *talk about self doubt* and then when you
answered
everyone else big time paranoia set in, and then I realized after you
said
you were not offended you, being the forthright person you are would have
told me so, Lee
Prairie Roots wrote in message
.. .
Thanks Lee. There's a lot of truth in what you wrote and I greatly
appreciate your perceptive insights. When I read through your listing
of the ways I've changed, I noticed one significant omission: that
I've recently signed up with an online matchmaking service. Of all the
scary things I've done, this is the scariest.

As I read through the descriptions of what people are looking for in a
partner, or what people say to describe themselves, I feel horribly
inadequate and wonder why I think I'm bothering. Once again, the Greek
chorus is chanting "Who am I kidding?" And then panic sets in. Seeking
a life companion is such an act of hope, yet I feel so hopeless. And
terrified. And vulnerable: I had to think long and hard about what and
how much I would say about this in a repy to you. But I am starting to
talk about it with a few of my friends. Thankfully, none of them are
laughing at me (at least not in front of me!), and all of them are
sincerely helpful about offering feedback and suggestions and
reassurances. So at least I've mostly stopped feeling stupid. And I'm
overcoming some of my self-consciousness.

By the way, just to put this into perspective, I've begun
corresponding with one person, but nothing offline. Imagine the
tailspin I'll go into if anything ever advances to that stage!!

Thanks for sparking my thinking Lee.
--
Linda P, who never made it past adolescence when it comes to affairs
of the heart


On Tue, 2 Nov 2004 05:03:58 -0800, "Miss Violette"
wrote:

first of all just go back to 22 points, there, see you aren't gonna
starve.
Now let me tell you about last summer... I have seven nieces. they,
the
older ones spend some time with me. I do the laundry and not being
able
to
see was very challenging because two of the nieces are around the size
I
am
now. As I pulled pants out of the dryer or washer to hang them I got
very
frustrated and confused because I couldn't always tell their clothes
from
mine. I realized that this was totally body image and I certainly
could
NOT
be the same size as a 15 year old. I had a great deal of difficulty
with
this and then it dawned on me that maybe I didn't feel I deserve to be
this
small and who was I kidding anyway, if I were that size I would be
pretty
healthy and perhaps pretty attractive. I realized that this was my
mind
self sabotaging my efforts. You could be going through the same
things,
after all, you have redone your house, joined a bike club, gotten
advancement and recognition at your work, if you feel you are being
fraudulent and do not deserve these things because you are not worthy
then
it has to be that you are really a fat person temporarily masquerading
as
a
thin one, and being basically honest you do not like the deception so
therefore if you are fat again then everyone will se you do not
deserve
these great things you have accomplished.

I do sympathize but here is your kick in the rear**** you DO deserve
all
you
have accomplished and no amount of eating will quiet those voices,
just
turn
up the radio and go and exercise every time they start taunting you
and
maybe you will make them tired enough they will shut up, I an so sorry
you
have to go through this I know it is painful, Lee, who talks big but
goes
through similar quite often
Prairie Roots wrote in message
.. .
You know how sometimes we talk about the 'switch,' that indefinable
moment when weight loss became possible? Well, mine's got a short or
something's gone haywire with the circuitry. I did fine last week.
But
since my WI, my eating's gone off the deepend. Don't know what set
it
off, but I just can't seem to stop. Well, not entirely true.
Yesterday, I ate well under my points after 3 days of overeating.
But
today, I ate over points again and my 35 flex points are long gone.
What's going on? For one, I think I have a mental block about 20
daily
target points. 22 points I can do, no problem. Something happens,
though, when I drop to 20 points: I think I'm going to starve, which
then sets off all sorts of cravings.

Another thing I'm battling is feeling fat. I take jeans and shirts
and
underwear out of the dryer and wonder who I thought I was kidding
when
I bought such small clothes, or i figure that maybe they've shrunk
because surely those things won't fit me. As I type this, it's
laughable. But when I'm standing in front of the dryer, I'm not
laughing. In fact, I'm close to tears because I truly do despair
about
what I'm going to wear now that all my fat clothes have been
donated.
I put my clothes anyway and when I get dressed in the morning,
everything fits. If I keep eating, though, that won't last.

I mentioned all this today to a friend at work, and she looked at me
like I was crazy and said "Where could you possibly feel fat! My
gawd,
you are so skinny." Honestly, I just don't see it. My head still
sees
me back at 232 and feeling bad about much I weigh. And then those
people inside my head start taunting me: since I'm fat and will
always
be fat, I might as well eat.

So that's what I'm dealing with. I'm gonna keep fighting this
because
the rational part of my brain is still functioning. And I do not
want
to go back. This week, though, I'll consider it a victory just to go
to my WI. I'm going to try to go to the meeting early and talk to
the
leader. Thanks for listening.
--
Linda P
232/148.8/10% goal: 138

If you're back on track already after pizza yesterday, you should
figure out how to bottle your resolve and sell it. It takes days for
the cravings to subside after I eat pizza.
--
Linda P

On Thu, 04 Nov 2004 18:44:09 GMT, "Laura"
wrote:

It worked that way for me. No more junk and empty calories. I did wander
last night as we had pizza before our trip to mom territory. Having pizza
before our 6+ hour drive was easy on everyone. I just wish that I did not
have that 2nd slice. I have not had pizza since mid august. I'm back on
track today.

"Miss Violette" wrote in message
...
and you reminded me that many say core helped them to get off the sugar
craving cycle, Lee
Laura wrote in message
news
I am doing a combination of Flex and Core. I only eat according to the
Core
program and officially only count point for the non-core items. I am
unofficially still journalling and tracking my points like I did under
Flex.
This keeps my portions under control. I tried not counting for a few
days
and found that my portions were getting bigger cuz there was nothing to
stop
me from having more. My ability to know when I am satisfied has not been
developed enough. I am better off having the normal portions placed on
my
plate and stopping there. If I am still hungry later I will have
something
else. This does not happen very often because everything is high fiber.
Gone
are my junk foods. I still have my frequent non-fat ice cream from the
local ice cream store but I get a small and it is only 2 points. Well
1.5+
but I count it as 2 and I use my WPAs for that. I do have to make sure
that
I eat enough points though. There have been numerous days that I just
was
not very hungry and ate only 20 points. My normal target is 24.

"Prairie Roots" wrote in message
...
Thanks Laura. "Anxiety" is the right word. Going back to 22 points
seems to be the correct tactic for now. Tomorrow is my WI, and I fully
expect to have regained every lb I lost the week previous. But I get
to start over--correction, I get to start from wherever I am. As long
as keep trying, there's hope that I'll eventually get things figured
out. Core, hmm. I don't have any trouble with the idea of
"restricting" myself to foods on the Core list. But not counting
points? That would feel like walking over the edge of a cliff.
--
Linda P

On Tue, 02 Nov 2004 23:25:23 GMT, "Laura"
wrote:

I agree with the others suggestion of you going back to 22 points.
This
is a
mind thing that you have to work through. All of us have
been-there-done-that in some form or another. You'll figure it
out--you
always do. You've come so far and you are certainly not fat if you
get
20
points. Maybe trying Core for a couple of weeks would give you some
relief
from counting points. That might ease your anxiety. Hang in there.

"Prairie Roots" wrote in message
.. .
You know how sometimes we talk about the 'switch,' that indefinable
moment when weight loss became possible? Well, mine's got a short
or
something's gone haywire with the circuitry. I did fine last week.
But
since my WI, my eating's gone off the deepend. Don't know what set
it
off, but I just can't seem to stop. Well, not entirely true.
Yesterday, I ate well under my points after 3 days of overeating.
But
today, I ate over points again and my 35 flex points are long gone.
What's going on? For one, I think I have a mental block about 20
daily
target points. 22 points I can do, no problem. Something happens,
though, when I drop to 20 points: I think I'm going to starve,
which
then sets off all sorts of cravings.

Another thing I'm battling is feeling fat. I take jeans and shirts
and
underwear out of the dryer and wonder who I thought I was kidding
when
I bought such small clothes, or i figure that maybe they've shrunk
because surely those things won't fit me. As I type this, it's
laughable. But when I'm standing in front of the dryer, I'm not
laughing. In fact, I'm close to tears because I truly do despair
about
what I'm going to wear now that all my fat clothes have been
donated.
I put my clothes anyway and when I get dressed in the morning,
everything fits. If I keep eating, though, that won't last.

I mentioned all this today to a friend at work, and she looked at
me
like I was crazy and said "Where could you possibly feel fat! My
gawd,
you are so skinny." Honestly, I just don't see it. My head still
sees
me back at 232 and feeling bad about much I weigh. And then those
people inside my head start taunting me: since I'm fat and will
always
be fat, I might as well eat.

So that's what I'm dealing with. I'm gonna keep fighting this
because
the rational part of my brain is still functioning. And I do not
want
to go back. This week, though, I'll consider it a victory just to
go
to my WI. I'm going to try to go to the meeting early and talk to
the
leader. Thanks for listening.
--
Linda P
232/148.8/10% goal: 138

Me too. Just finished eating one with dinner. It's one of my favorite
foods. As a kid, though, I hated them. Mom always fixed them for
Thanksgiving and Christmas, using the canned variety and topping them
with butter, brown sugar, and marshmallows. Even the thought of that
old recipe makes me gag.
--
Linda P

On Thu, 4 Nov 2004 11:07:53 -0800, "Miss Violette"
wrote:

I love sweet potato made just about any way, Lee
Fred wrote in message
.. .
It does allow individual flexibility and adaptions. Of course, this
concept only works if you know the older RANGE program. It worked for
me quite well. (oh, baked sweet potato is wafting up this way.... (g))

On Wed, 3 Nov 2004 18:18:22 -0800, "Miss Violette"
wrote:

that is interesting, I like the idea that everything is fixed and that I
am
reducing food to x amount of food, I had horrible times saving up for
extras, now on flex I rarely use more than 1 or 2 points until the last
day
of my week, that is just too cool how we each can adapt the principles of
the program to suit our individual needs, Lee
Fred wrote in message
news I'm sure you recreate it (G)

I know -ME-. I am really glad I joined when Winning Points or
whatever was the program. I would have been critically impaired (G)
by being told I had to eat 24 points each and every day. Even having
those flex points out there would not have been good enough. It would
have been this rigid, inflexible objective each day. NO WAY. That is
just not my style. Saving "excess" points was more of my style.
Also, frankly, my exercise level does not lend itself to eating all
activity points as/when earned. I still find that the next day I need
more. Altho, I think that I did learn in Europe (well, after) that I
should have been eating more each day to counter the extreme hiking
each day. I think I was TOO driven by "can't gain weight/have to
control input" when I could have used more fuel. I get this feeling
that may be what is driving the "broken switch" now. Or that's my
excuse anyway.

Well, almost off to WI..... (yikes!)

On Tue, 02 Nov 2004 21:50:10 -0600, Prairie Roots
wrote:

On Tue, 02 Nov 2004 18:32:26 -0800, Fred
wrote:

I still never did alter to the ONE POINT VALUE per day, perferring
the
less anal/rigid/unforgiving daily range

Ah yes, the old Winning Points program in which you earned your extra
points instead of being given them at the beginning of ea chweek.Hm.
I've still got a spreadsheet from those days. I might try to dig that
out. Oh wait. Over the weekend I had to reformat my hard drive. That's
one thing I didn't back up.

very true, Lee hoping for no family for her
Kate Dicey wrote in message
...
Miss Violette wrote:

although... the kind you were thinking can cause the kind referred to in
this post... that is... if done properly... Lee, trying to keep in mind
this
is a family type group

There would be no families without it...
--
Kate XXXXXX
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.diceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

Thanks Laura.

Brenda

"Laura" wrote in message
...
We'll be here when you are ready.

When I am going crazy from grief I tend to jump into everything possible
to
help ease the pain that time hasn't healed. It will take you time and
everyone deals with it differently. Good luck finding what works.

"Brenda Hammond" wrote in message
...
Thanks you guys! You're all so sweet and I appreciate the suggestions.
I
miss
the group alot, so hopefully I'll be able to get my mind around the
program
and
get back here to you soon. Take care and good luck to you all!

I'll be back...

Brenda

"Miss Violette" wrote in message
...
go look at your son, Lee
Brenda Hammond wrote in message
...
Things are okay. We're adjusting to the loss of DH's mom although
it sure has taken it's toll. I sometimes still expect the phone to
ring
and
hear her voice on the other end, or when someone from the house calls
and I see their number in the call display I expect her voice to be
on the other end. I suppose it will take time for us to get over it
completely and maybe we will never be completely over it.

I am failing badly at the program. I was 194 when my MIL passed away,
now I'm at about 196-197. I get so disgusted with the way I let
myself
go. I was down to 172 at one point, now here I am back up to within
12 lbs. of my weight when I first began WW. I find myself eating
really
unhealthy and program un-friendly foods. I think back to when I first
began the program and how I was so into eating just what I should,
drinking the amount of water I should, etc., etc., and find myself
wanting to be at that point in my life again, but I just
can't seem to get there. I need some kind of motivation, but don't
know yet what it is that will get me there.

Any suggestions?

Brenda


"Fred" wrote in message
...
Nice seeing you again. Hope things are better.

On Mon, 1 Nov 2004 21:17:16 -0800, "Brenda Hammond"
wrote:

I don't think I can offer you any good information on how to go
about getting over the "feeling fat" issue. You are
definitely not fat! As soon as I ready your post I felt for you and
wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you.
Talking it over with your leader at your next WI is a great idea,
perhaps she can offer some information that will help. Good luck
Linda.
(((((HUGS)))))

Brenda

"Prairie Roots" wrote in message
. ..
You know how sometimes we talk about the 'switch,' that
indefinable
moment when weight loss became possible? Well, mine's got a short
or
something's gone haywire with the circuitry. I did fine last week.
But
since my WI, my eating's gone off the deepend. Don't know what set
it
off, but I just can't seem to stop. Well, not entirely true.
Yesterday, I ate well under my points after 3 days of overeating.
But
today, I ate over points again and my 35 flex points are long
gone.
What's going on? For one, I think I have a mental block about 20
daily
target points. 22 points I can do, no problem. Something happens,
though, when I drop to 20 points: I think I'm going to starve,
which
then sets off all sorts of cravings.

Another thing I'm battling is feeling fat. I take jeans and shirts
and
underwear out of the dryer and wonder who I thought I was kidding
when
I bought such small clothes, or i figure that maybe they've shrunk
because surely those things won't fit me. As I type this, it's
laughable. But when I'm standing in front of the dryer, I'm not
laughing. In fact, I'm close to tears because I truly do despair
about
what I'm going to wear now that all my fat clothes have been
donated.
I put my clothes anyway and when I get dressed in the morning,
everything fits. If I keep eating, though, that won't last.

I mentioned all this today to a friend at work, and she looked at
me
like I was crazy and said "Where could you possibly feel fat! My
gawd,
you are so skinny." Honestly, I just don't see it. My head still
sees
me back at 232 and feeling bad about much I weigh. And then those
people inside my head start taunting me: since I'm fat and will
always
be fat, I might as well eat.

So that's what I'm dealing with. I'm gonna keep fighting this
because
the rational part of my brain is still functioning. And I do not
want
to go back. This week, though, I'll consider it a victory just to
go
to my WI. I'm going to try to go to the meeting early and talk to
the
leader. Thanks for listening.
--
Linda P
232/148.8/10% goal: 138

I was good until dinner time. We went out to dinner. We started with Philly
Fries: Steak fries covered with cheese and bacon bits. I had the chicken
Fajitas. No torillas and only half of the cheese. This is not going to be a
good weekend. I thought I could do okay being away. We are up in MA closing
the townhouse for the winter so I am out of my element. Have breakfast and
lunch figured out but as usual am at the mercy of DH and his cooking.
Tomorrow we eat in so that should be better. I can't believe I ate the
fries. arrgghh.

"Prairie Roots" wrote in message
...
If you're back on track already after pizza yesterday, you should
figure out how to bottle your resolve and sell it. It takes days for
the cravings to subside after I eat pizza.
--
Linda P

On Thu, 04 Nov 2004 18:44:09 GMT, "Laura"
wrote:

It worked that way for me. No more junk and empty calories. I did wander
last night as we had pizza before our trip to mom territory. Having pizza
before our 6+ hour drive was easy on everyone. I just wish that I did not
have that 2nd slice. I have not had pizza since mid august. I'm back on
track today.

"Miss Violette" wrote in message
...
and you reminded me that many say core helped them to get off the sugar
craving cycle, Lee
Laura wrote in message
news I am doing a combination of Flex and Core. I only eat according to
the
Core
program and officially only count point for the non-core items. I am
unofficially still journalling and tracking my points like I did
under
Flex.
This keeps my portions under control. I tried not counting for a few
days
and found that my portions were getting bigger cuz there was nothing
to
stop
me from having more. My ability to know when I am satisfied has not
been
developed enough. I am better off having the normal portions placed
on
my
plate and stopping there. If I am still hungry later I will have
something
else. This does not happen very often because everything is high
fiber.
Gone
are my junk foods. I still have my frequent non-fat ice cream from
the
local ice cream store but I get a small and it is only 2 points. Well
1.5+
but I count it as 2 and I use my WPAs for that. I do have to make
sure
that
I eat enough points though. There have been numerous days that I just
was
not very hungry and ate only 20 points. My normal target is 24.

"Prairie Roots" wrote in message
...
Thanks Laura. "Anxiety" is the right word. Going back to 22 points
seems to be the correct tactic for now. Tomorrow is my WI, and I
fully
expect to have regained every lb I lost the week previous. But I
get
to start over--correction, I get to start from wherever I am. As
long
as keep trying, there's hope that I'll eventually get things
figured
out. Core, hmm. I don't have any trouble with the idea of
"restricting" myself to foods on the Core list. But not counting
points? That would feel like walking over the edge of a cliff.
--
Linda P

On Tue, 02 Nov 2004 23:25:23 GMT, "Laura"
wrote:

I agree with the others suggestion of you going back to 22 points.
This
is a
mind thing that you have to work through. All of us have
been-there-done-that in some form or another. You'll figure it
out--you
always do. You've come so far and you are certainly not fat if you
get
20
points. Maybe trying Core for a couple of weeks would give you
some
relief
from counting points. That might ease your anxiety. Hang in there.

"Prairie Roots" wrote in message
.. .
You know how sometimes we talk about the 'switch,' that
indefinable
moment when weight loss became possible? Well, mine's got a
short
or
something's gone haywire with the circuitry. I did fine last
week.
But
since my WI, my eating's gone off the deepend. Don't know what
set
it
off, but I just can't seem to stop. Well, not entirely true.
Yesterday, I ate well under my points after 3 days of
overeating.
But
today, I ate over points again and my 35 flex points are long
gone.
What's going on? For one, I think I have a mental block about 20
daily
target points. 22 points I can do, no problem. Something
happens,
though, when I drop to 20 points: I think I'm going to starve,
which
then sets off all sorts of cravings.

Another thing I'm battling is feeling fat. I take jeans and
shirts
and
underwear out of the dryer and wonder who I thought I was
kidding
when
I bought such small clothes, or i figure that maybe they've
shrunk
because surely those things won't fit me. As I type this, it's
laughable. But when I'm standing in front of the dryer, I'm not
laughing. In fact, I'm close to tears because I truly do despair
about
what I'm going to wear now that all my fat clothes have been
donated.
I put my clothes anyway and when I get dressed in the morning,
everything fits. If I keep eating, though, that won't last.

I mentioned all this today to a friend at work, and she looked
at
me
like I was crazy and said "Where could you possibly feel fat! My
gawd,
you are so skinny." Honestly, I just don't see it. My head still
sees
me back at 232 and feeling bad about much I weigh. And then
those
people inside my head start taunting me: since I'm fat and will
always
be fat, I might as well eat.

So that's what I'm dealing with. I'm gonna keep fighting this
because
the rational part of my brain is still functioning. And I do not
want
to go back. This week, though, I'll consider it a victory just
to
go
to my WI. I'm going to try to go to the meeting early and talk
to
the
leader. Thanks for listening.
--
Linda P
232/148.8/10% goal: 138

I was good until dinner time. We went out to dinner. We started with Philly
Fries: Steak fries covered with cheese and bacon bits. I had the chicken
Fajitas. No torillas and only half of the cheese. This is not going to be a
good weekend. I thought I could do okay being away. We are up in MA closing
the townhouse for the winter so I am out of my element. Have breakfast and
lunch figured out but as usual am at the mercy of DH and his cooking.
Tomorrow we eat in so that should be better. I can't believe I ate the
fries. arrgghh.

"Prairie Roots" wrote in message
...
If you're back on track already after pizza yesterday, you should
figure out how to bottle your resolve and sell it. It takes days for
the cravings to subside after I eat pizza.
--
Linda P

On Thu, 04 Nov 2004 18:44:09 GMT, "Laura"
wrote:

It worked that way for me. No more junk and empty calories. I did wander
last night as we had pizza before our trip to mom territory. Having pizza
before our 6+ hour drive was easy on everyone. I just wish that I did not
have that 2nd slice. I have not had pizza since mid august. I'm back on
track today.

"Miss Violette" wrote in message
...
and you reminded me that many say core helped them to get off the sugar
craving cycle, Lee
Laura wrote in message
news I am doing a combination of Flex and Core. I only eat according to
the
Core
program and officially only count point for the non-core items. I am
unofficially still journalling and tracking my points like I did
under
Flex.
This keeps my portions under control. I tried not counting for a few
days
and found that my portions were getting bigger cuz there was nothing
to
stop
me from having more. My ability to know when I am satisfied has not
been
developed enough. I am better off having the normal portions placed
on
my
plate and stopping there. If I am still hungry later I will have
something
else. This does not happen very often because everything is high
fiber.
Gone
are my junk foods. I still have my frequent non-fat ice cream from
the
local ice cream store but I get a small and it is only 2 points. Well
1.5+
but I count it as 2 and I use my WPAs for that. I do have to make
sure
that
I eat enough points though. There have been numerous days that I just
was
not very hungry and ate only 20 points. My normal target is 24.

"Prairie Roots" wrote in message
...
Thanks Laura. "Anxiety" is the right word. Going back to 22 points
seems to be the correct tactic for now. Tomorrow is my WI, and I
fully
expect to have regained every lb I lost the week previous. But I
get
to start over--correction, I get to start from wherever I am. As
long
as keep trying, there's hope that I'll eventually get things
figured
out. Core, hmm. I don't have any trouble with the idea of
"restricting" myself to foods on the Core list. But not counting
points? That would feel like walking over the edge of a cliff.
--
Linda P

On Tue, 02 Nov 2004 23:25:23 GMT, "Laura"
wrote:

I agree with the others suggestion of you going back to 22 points.
This
is a
mind thing that you have to work through. All of us have
been-there-done-that in some form or another. You'll figure it
out--you
always do. You've come so far and you are certainly not fat if you
get
20
points. Maybe trying Core for a couple of weeks would give you
some
relief
from counting points. That might ease your anxiety. Hang in there.

"Prairie Roots" wrote in message
.. .
You know how sometimes we talk about the 'switch,' that
indefinable
moment when weight loss became possible? Well, mine's got a
short
or
something's gone haywire with the circuitry. I did fine last
week.
But
since my WI, my eating's gone off the deepend. Don't know what
set
it
off, but I just can't seem to stop. Well, not entirely true.
Yesterday, I ate well under my points after 3 days of
overeating.
But
today, I ate over points again and my 35 flex points are long
gone.
What's going on? For one, I think I have a mental block about 20
daily
target points. 22 points I can do, no problem. Something
happens,
though, when I drop to 20 points: I think I'm going to starve,
which
then sets off all sorts of cravings.

Another thing I'm battling is feeling fat. I take jeans and
shirts
and
underwear out of the dryer and wonder who I thought I was
kidding
when
I bought such small clothes, or i figure that maybe they've
shrunk
because surely those things won't fit me. As I type this, it's
laughable. But when I'm standing in front of the dryer, I'm not
laughing. In fact, I'm close to tears because I truly do despair
about
what I'm going to wear now that all my fat clothes have been
donated.
I put my clothes anyway and when I get dressed in the morning,
everything fits. If I keep eating, though, that won't last.

I mentioned all this today to a friend at work, and she looked
at
me
like I was crazy and said "Where could you possibly feel fat! My
gawd,
you are so skinny." Honestly, I just don't see it. My head still
sees
me back at 232 and feeling bad about much I weigh. And then
those
people inside my head start taunting me: since I'm fat and will
always
be fat, I might as well eat.

So that's what I'm dealing with. I'm gonna keep fighting this
because
the rational part of my brain is still functioning. And I do not
want
to go back. This week, though, I'll consider it a victory just
to
go
to my WI. I'm going to try to go to the meeting early and talk
to
the
leader. Thanks for listening.
--
Linda P
232/148.8/10% goal: 138

Do the best you can, Laura. When you get back home, get back to your
routines as quickly as possible. As for the fries tonight, blame it on
yesterday's pizza.

On Fri, 05 Nov 2004 03:06:24 GMT, "Laura"
wrote:

I was good until dinner time. We went out to dinner. We started with Philly
Fries: Steak fries covered with cheese and bacon bits. I had the chicken
Fajitas. No torillas and only half of the cheese. This is not going to be a
good weekend. I thought I could do okay being away. We are up in MA closing
the townhouse for the winter so I am out of my element. Have breakfast and
lunch figured out but as usual am at the mercy of DH and his cooking.
Tomorrow we eat in so that should be better. I can't believe I ate the
fries. arrgghh.

"Prairie Roots" wrote in message
.. .
If you're back on track already after pizza yesterday, you should
figure out how to bottle your resolve and sell it. It takes days for
the cravings to subside after I eat pizza.
--
Linda P

On Thu, 04 Nov 2004 18:44:09 GMT, "Laura"
wrote:

It worked that way for me. No more junk and empty calories. I did wander
last night as we had pizza before our trip to mom territory. Having pizza
before our 6+ hour drive was easy on everyone. I just wish that I did not
have that 2nd slice. I have not had pizza since mid august. I'm back on
track today.

"Miss Violette" wrote in message
...
and you reminded me that many say core helped them to get off the sugar
craving cycle, Lee
Laura wrote in message
news I am doing a combination of Flex and Core. I only eat according to
the
Core
program and officially only count point for the non-core items. I am
unofficially still journalling and tracking my points like I did
under
Flex.
This keeps my portions under control. I tried not counting for a few
days
and found that my portions were getting bigger cuz there was nothing
to
stop
me from having more. My ability to know when I am satisfied has not
been
developed enough. I am better off having the normal portions placed
on
my
plate and stopping there. If I am still hungry later I will have
something
else. This does not happen very often because everything is high
fiber.
Gone
are my junk foods. I still have my frequent non-fat ice cream from
the
local ice cream store but I get a small and it is only 2 points. Well
1.5+
but I count it as 2 and I use my WPAs for that. I do have to make
sure
that
I eat enough points though. There have been numerous days that I just
was
not very hungry and ate only 20 points. My normal target is 24.

"Prairie Roots" wrote in message
...
Thanks Laura. "Anxiety" is the right word. Going back to 22 points
seems to be the correct tactic for now. Tomorrow is my WI, and I
fully
expect to have regained every lb I lost the week previous. But I
get
to start over--correction, I get to start from wherever I am. As
long
as keep trying, there's hope that I'll eventually get things
figured
out. Core, hmm. I don't have any trouble with the idea of
"restricting" myself to foods on the Core list. But not counting
points? That would feel like walking over the edge of a cliff.
--
Linda P

On Tue, 02 Nov 2004 23:25:23 GMT, "Laura"
wrote:

I agree with the others suggestion of you going back to 22 points.
This
is a
mind thing that you have to work through. All of us have
been-there-done-that in some form or another. You'll figure it
out--you
always do. You've come so far and you are certainly not fat if you
get
20
points. Maybe trying Core for a couple of weeks would give you
some
relief
from counting points. That might ease your anxiety. Hang in there.

"Prairie Roots" wrote in message
.. .
You know how sometimes we talk about the 'switch,' that
indefinable
moment when weight loss became possible? Well, mine's got a
short
or
something's gone haywire with the circuitry. I did fine last
week.
But
since my WI, my eating's gone off the deepend. Don't know what
set
it
off, but I just can't seem to stop. Well, not entirely true.
Yesterday, I ate well under my points after 3 days of
overeating.
But
today, I ate over points again and my 35 flex points are long
gone.
What's going on? For one, I think I have a mental block about 20
daily
target points. 22 points I can do, no problem. Something
happens,
though, when I drop to 20 points: I think I'm going to starve,
which
then sets off all sorts of cravings.

Another thing I'm battling is feeling fat. I take jeans and
shirts
and
underwear out of the dryer and wonder who I thought I was
kidding
when
I bought such small clothes, or i figure that maybe they've
shrunk
because surely those things won't fit me. As I type this, it's
laughable. But when I'm standing in front of the dryer, I'm not
laughing. In fact, I'm close to tears because I truly do despair
about
what I'm going to wear now that all my fat clothes have been
donated.
I put my clothes anyway and when I get dressed in the morning,
everything fits. If I keep eating, though, that won't last.

I mentioned all this today to a friend at work, and she looked
at
me
like I was crazy and said "Where could you possibly feel fat! My
gawd,
you are so skinny." Honestly, I just don't see it. My head still
sees
me back at 232 and feeling bad about much I weigh. And then
those
people inside my head start taunting me: since I'm fat and will
always
be fat, I might as well eat.

So that's what I'm dealing with. I'm gonna keep fighting this
because
the rational part of my brain is still functioning. And I do not
want
to go back. This week, though, I'll consider it a victory just
to
go
to my WI. I'm going to try to go to the meeting early and talk
to
the
leader. Thanks for listening.
--
Linda P
232/148.8/10% goal: 138