December 19th, 2003, 08:09 AM
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nyny not too bad (OT - Joyce)
I write names in permanent marker on everything, doesn't much matter. Clothing
that I bring home to launder has others names in them. The radio was engraved
with her name, has not reappeared. The staff does locate some items, but I am
reasonably sure that I'm not the only person having the same problem. When we
visit, mom always says she has just returned from running errands. I'm beginning
to think I *know* what those errands are. G
Joyce
On Wed, 17 Dec 2003 12:20:21 GMT, "Lesanne" wrote:
We used to sew labels into my great Aunts clothing. It helped some.
"Joyce" wrote in message
.. .
Yup, I was thinking the same thing last week. I knew how to relate to the
*other*
mommy - this nice one is odd. She has also become very clingy, which I
don't
recall ever once seeing her.
That's one nice thing about the nursing home, not really any room for a
lot of
*stuff* - so not much shopping to really do. We thought a radio would be
nice,
give her something to listen to and keep up with the news ... it has
disappeared
several times, this last time appears to be gone forever. But clothing
she NEEDS.
I had bought enough to go at least 2 weeks, figuring I wouldn't have to
take
laundry home and bust my butt to get it back the next day ... so she
didn't have
to go nekid. This weeks laundry I found many articles of other people,
and
virtually nothing left in her closet. I return what I find, but whoever
is
getting mom's isn't returning it. It is becoming very frustrating. I am
wondering if a lot of *shopping* is going on in the nursing home ... you
know,
shopping in other people's closets? G
Joyce
On Tue, 16 Dec 2003 13:17:57 GMT, "Lesanne" wrote:
Isn't it funny how we want the mean Mommy back . I guess it is scary
to
know they are not ever going to be the way we expect...
I don't know. I just know when Ma got all "nice" and clingy it was very
very scary for me.
Mom loves to shop, gets all excited about new stuff, brings it home,
plays
with it for 10 minutes, then I find it in the large trash can in the
garage.
We don't buy a lot of stuff any more.
"Joyce" wrote in message
.. .
On Thu, 04 Dec 2003 12:15:58 GMT, "Lesanne"
wrote:
"Joyce" wrote in message
.. .
The nasty area homes is really a shame. I have heard a lot of
nightmare
stories,
had somewhat of an idea what to look for when trying to place mom
(my
sister is
also a nurse). Guess we just got lucky, but did opt for a much
older,
smaller and
established home that was within 2 blocks of where we grew up.
Nursing
staff
turnover is very, very low ... which I also take as a good sign. I
did
look on
some website at nursing home ratings, this one appeared (to me) to
score
very
well. Again, just plain ol' dumb luck.
****This sounds like you have a wonderful place for your Mom. I think
part
of our problem is the culture here. Very "old mexico" in a way. This
is
both very very Good, and not so good. I am Expected to do what I am
doing.
The families take care of their own. The people in the nursing homes,
either have no family to speak of, or are judged by a lot of people as
having "bad" families. Well over 2/3 of the nurses in the nursing
homes
are
from Canada or some other country. And hate it here. The other third
are
people who cannot get a job anywhere else in the country.
Wow, makes me wonder why they stay here if they hate it so much. About
half of
the staff at mom's nursing home is from other countries, but they do
appear to
really love what they are doing - are extremely caring and gentle with
the
residents. I do think that people here still expect families to take
care
of
their own though. I get a lot of judgemental looks whenever I have to
tell
someone that mom is in a home ... easy to judge when they aren't faced
with the
same issues. It isn't problem free though ... personal items and
clothing
seem to
be constantly disappearing, which is becoming extremely frustrating. I
bring
mom's laundry home to do, usually end up with many articles of other
residents ..
and several pairs of pants I purchased a few weeks ago are gone
already.
sigh
Probably is mom though, not having a clue which room is hers at the
moment.
I'm sorry your mom won't let you leave her sight, that has to be
tough.
It's not
like we don't lay enough guilt on ourselves - sure don't need anyone
else
helping
in that department. G Is the meanness just part of the disease?
*****I take it with a grain of salt and go out anyway when I need to,
but
it
is a consideration. I am going out tomorrow afternoon. She will do
what
she does (either act like, or genuinely get really confused). She
will
forget the whole thing by Saturday morning ! Meanness is supposed
to
be
part of the disease, or at least profound personality changes. My Ma
was
always very sarcastic with me, and we never got along. She was
"horrified"
by my weight. My sister and she were both very tiny and petite. When
Ma
first began getting this, she became very afraid and was suddenly
extremely
"NICE" to me, which believe me, was icky. Now she is beginning to go
back
to mean, and frankly I am more comfortable with that.
I can brave the restaurant trips, but still haven't attempted the
shopping. Maybe
after the holidays when things calm down, I know how much she misses
shopping.
Although ... she always tells me that she has just returned from
running
errands
when I visit. g And boy can I relate to the personality changes!
Mom
was
always kind of nasty mouthed when I was younger ... one of those that
was
never
happy unless she was unhappy. Constantly complaining about something,
one
of us
kids always on her sh** list. It wasn't fun, but at least we knew what
to
expect.
At the moment she is really icky sweet and I'm having a tough time
dealing
with
it. Some guilt trips are still being laid, but I really don't think
they
are
conciously done now. I'm not sure which *mom* I prefer ... but I can
recognize
the *old* one easier.
Joyce
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